It’s been a while. Ugh, I feel like I say this every third post or so. Those of you who have stuck around, thank you! I love you.
I’ve gotten a few request from you all about how to be confident on your natural hair journey. So, I’ve decided to write ya back! Every journey is different because our hair is different. However, the goal is the same. It is about getting to know your hair and LOVE YOUR hair. Very often, when I got started, I would see other girls with a looser curl pattern, or thicker hair, or longer hair… on and on, and it depressed me. My every thought was how can I make my hair look like theirs? This often translated into their hair is prettier. My natural hair sucks. It’s just easier to be mixed and go natural. I need a different type of natural hair. Friends, these feelings are the exact opposite of what the natural hair movement is about! I started out in college as a protest to the “straight hair is the best hair” standard of beauty. I told myself, I don’t need to texturize or relax my hair to be beautiful. I’m going to do me! I’m going natural, and I will love the hair on my head. Not going to lie, that rapidly changed 3-4 months in. My hair was short. I felt ugly. I didn’t see myself this way. No. Hell. No. It’s funny, the oppressive thoughts went from my hair isn’t good because it’s not straight, to my hair isn’t good because it’s not the right type of curly. This is NOT how you become confident with your natural hair.
So, let’s talk confidence. Confidence is when you feel amazing about yourself no matter the circumstances. For me, it was a state that I was chasing all the time. Stupid fleeting confidence! I gained confidence by constantly surrounding myself with positivity and seeking contentment. This is tied to my faith in God. More practically, I gained confidence by finding hairstyles that suited me and advice from girls on the journey. When I first got my hair cut, it was so short I looked like a boy, and I am not one of those girls who look like “dimes” in a pixie. So, it took a lot of compliments and reassurance from friends and family. Also, this is probably a debate and blog for a later post, but I sometimes straightened my hair with heat. For me, going natural meant not relaxing my hair and not adding weave. For others, going natural means no heat, no relaxing, no nada. It’s your journey, you decide. Don’t let people tell you how to be natural. It’s YOUR hair. Be proud and satisfied with how you wear it.
Here are some of my tips for gaining confidence:
- Know why you want to go natural. Have a mission statement. For real. No, seriously. Why do you even want to go natural? What will it do for you?
- Find hairstyles that suit you and try them out— I looked at celebs like Rihanna, but remember I sometimes heat styled until my hair grew out a bit.
- YouTube will be your best friend– if you need guidance, I subscribe to so many amazing vloggers here.
- Don’t compare your hair or your journey to others. Comparison can kill confidence. Even girls with the most “beautiful” curls and coils in the world hated their hair at one point, and wished it was like someone else’s.
- Learn to love the person God made you to be. You are a masterpiece. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and so is your hair.
- Do what is best for you. People will always have opinions, comments, and preferences about your hair and what it should look like. Just try to be selective in what you choose to listen to. This is your hair. Not theirs.
- Stay realistic– about your curl pattern, growth, etc. I have come to terms with the fact that my hair will probably never look like this girl’s or that girl’s hair. I’m fine with that. I love my hair.
- Remember, it has it’s significance, but it is just hair. Significant, but not the source of your life.
- Eat ice cream. Because nobody is sad when eating ice cream. Like, never. 🙂