Why I Stopped Blogging & Why I’m Starting Again

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Blogging is hard work. Good blogging, the kind that inspires you, makes you laugh and think and cultivates an authentic connection with a complete stranger is even harder. I wanted to be a good blogger. And for a long time, I knew that I was at best average. I didn’t post. When I did, I half heartedly wrote about things that as I wrote them, made me feel vapid. After a while, I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t help but feel it was all in vain, AND in fact vain.

1. I couldn’t commit.
I had a lot going on. I was planning a wedding, looking for a job, getting married, traveling for a said new job. Sure, all things I could have blogged about, but I just couldn’t. I got busy and used my busyness as an excuse to blow if off. It takes a lot of work to think of a concept, plan it out, write…but don’t just write anything- be interesting. Double check spelling, photoshop, crop, mull, hate yourself. Compare, mull. Finally, post. The payoff  was empty. I defined payoff as: recognition, free stuff from companies, likes, shares, comments, interviews, features, etc. I chased it. I think I wanted the idea of a blogger more than I wanted to just write and share. I wanted the payoff like yesterday. After weighing the amount of work for each post I thought, this sucks. My goals were jacked some would say. They would be right. So, I quit.

2. Fashion and style made me feel shallow and selfish.
I kinda laugh at this now. When I think how shallow and self-involved this made me feel. I am just NOT cut out to talk about boots, and jeans, and the latest blah blah blah to wear. This isn’t me. I could care less. How fake I felt. Just something about a woman talking about clothes EVERYDAY seems very empty. Honestly, if you were to ever really have a conversation with me, clothes would be the LAST thing we talked about. Can I not be deeper than material? I hope to be. I could no longer pretend and contribute to this over saturated genre. I was sick of taking photos of myself. I looked at my blog and I thought, I wouldn’t really want to be friends with this girl. I hate stray away from women who only care about money, material, where they live, who they know, and where they’ve traveled. I was starting to become that very woman. So, I quit.

3. I wanted to do more
We live in a world with big issues.  I want to be able to talk about that. I have a real life outside of my closet. I want to talk about that. I have struggles, victories, fears, and hopes. I have a real sense of humor. I think I could make you laugh. We’ll see. I tried cooking. It’s umm… we’ll talk about that too. I LOVE God. I want to be able to share my faith. I got married. I’m learning. I am grown woman. A millennial. A struggling saver. A Feminist. I LOVE to travel. If I could be Anthony Bourdain, my whole life…. my whole life! 🙂 A slight STAN for a short list of TV shows. I can’t really play soccer and I suck at video games.

All things I can’t wait to share you with. THUS, I’m starting to feel the blogging bug again.

A very special few of you who once knew me know that I used to blog under a completely different name in college. I liked that girl. She’s grown up now. Smart. Witty. Challenging. Disgruntled. Trying to be content. I’d like you to meet her. If you will have me, I’m back.

13 Comments Add yours

  1. 1reddiva83 says:

    Im sorry you feel that way. I like african american written style blogs and while I agree with you that this is a very saturated market, but seeing someone who could put things together was quite nice because I am not a dresser. Anyway, I am glad you are back to blogging and cant wait to see your work. I do know how you feel because I write a blog on makeup and how vapid it can be just talking about RED lipstick but I like to sprinkle in some real life stuff after all its my blog.

    1. nchanel says:

      Yep! I am definitely not going to rid my blog of the personal style component I just don’t want to that to be my main talking point. I have to admit I still check out a lot of style bloggers and beauty gurus or whatever. 🙂

  2. Tammy says:

    I’m so glad you’re back at it. I do enjoy your blog. Have you had any time to craft lately? A few DIYs might be fun…or you could just blog about whatever is on your mind. And hey it’s ok to be a teeny bit shallow sometimes, that’s kinda part of being a girl 😉

  3. tarahsaint says:

    I’m so glad you’re back! I know the same exact feeling…kind of like emptiness. Just know whatever you post, I’ll read. God bless you, love!
    http://adornedinarmor.com

  4. Can’t wait to read more thoughtful posts just like this one, and I think you’re on the right track sharing your true self, because I like that one a lot.

  5. I understand. I am about to begin again as well. Can’t wait to see what you write.
    -Me

  6. Lauren J. says:

    Hi Nikki,

    I think it’s such a great idea and its so good to have you back. You are truly an inspiration to many women including me. I am a lover of God as well and I would really like to get your intake on faith and maybe some devotionals your reading…etc. Also, marriage, since you guys are still newlyweds, how has married life been for you and how have you changed as a person, as wife, and as a Christian. Anywho, you are a positive light in my life. It’s great to have you back!!!

    1. nchanel says:

      Wow! Thank you soooo much Lauren! I really appreciate you saying that. I am definitely going to be blogging about being married and my life as a Christian. I’ve got some really good stuff on the calendar and I can’t wait to share it all.

  7. L says:

    Hi Nikki! Good for you for coming to terms w/ what you really want to write about. Being inspired by your own life is a great lesson for readers. If you enjoy writing it we will enjoy reading it. Welcome back!

  8. Arielle says:

    I really love your blog, your posts are all so beautiful! I just followed you, it would be great if we could support each other 🙂 I am so glad I got to discover you ❤

      1. Arielle says:

        Thank you! Haha it is delicious, let me know if you do try it out!

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