Sometime after college my skin turned on me. Once clear and smooth, even toned, yet freckled has grown bumpy, red, blemished and troubled. Why? I DON’T FREAKING KNOW WHY! Sometimes my skin makes me angry. I was hesitant to even post these photos. I didn’t want y’all to see me like this. I had thought I’d just wait until my skin returned to normal. Then I could write a puffy cotton candy post about overcoming struggles, loving who you are where you are, and how to get to beautiful baby skin in ___ weeks. Well, weeks turned into months. Months into years. So, here I am. Makeup free. Exposed. Slightly embarrassed. Feeling uncertain.
Okay. Let’s start with the absolute worst of it.
I think it started somewhere in 2013. I was under so much stress. I didn’t have a great job. I felt like I was drowning compared to my friends. I had 3 jobs since graduating college. None of them were what I wanted. None of them paid well. I was stressed, so that could have been a factor. I also started taking biotin in a pretty large dosage. Then I heard that it causes major breakouts. I had been taking it for like a whole month! I’ve NEVER had cystic acne or ANY acne for that matter in my entire life. I skated through high school. In my teen years, maybe a pimple would pop up. Maybe. These two photos are the worst the acne has ever been. For some, this is a piece of cake. For me, it is a sad sad day. I tried everything short of a dermatologist. Diet changes, vitamins, fish oil, expensive products. I’m not sure what worked. It could have been a combo of things, but it’s gotten a lot better.
Here’s the “getting better, still looks like crap” phase.
Yep. That’s me. Crying. Over acne. This was after a few months of using a Neutrogena acne face wash, witch hazel, a night cream, vitamin c, and a daily moisturizer with SPF. I have stopped using ALL of these products. I’m sure they are fine, but after months of using them, I saw very little difference. I had also changed my diet. I drink a little over 64 oz of water everyday, workout 3-4 times a week, and cut down on my salt and sugar intake. I also started regularly going to yoga for relaxation and getting 8 hours of sleep. #NoSleep #GrindDontStop that’s not for me. I will sleep. I will be rejuvenated. At this point, I was still experiencing consistent breakouts all over my face and neck. So I figured it’s gotta be hormonal.
Here’s the “I’m about to hit up a dermatologist; nothing is working” phase.
I was still getting a lot of redness and deep under-the-skin pimples. These hurt like hell when you touch them. This time it was happening less on my chin and more on my cheeks. I started washing all my makeup brushes after each use. I always use the speaker on my cell phone so that it doesn’t touch my face. I got real stern about not touching my face or people touching my face. People do that. Even to other grown ups. It’s not cool. These photos were taken a few months after the previous ones.
As you can see, hopefully, it started to clear up a little. Still blotchy. I was left with scars and dark marks. So in came the dark spot correctors, and skin brighteners. This was tricky. I have freckles. My mom calls them angle kisses. I wanted to keep those, but get rid of that other stuff doing a bad job of disguising itself as freckles. I also did not want to look like Sammy Sosa. I started using the whole Neutrogena Visibly Even line along with the Neutrogena Pore Refining Toner, and Mario Badescu caviar night cream. This seems to be working so far.
Anyway this is me. Sans make up. Sans filter. I want to show you guys close-ups of my makeup free face once it’s all clear. Right now it’s not. See me in a few months. I promise my face will be back to normal. Fingers crossed.