Dining Out in July: A Horror Story


What I am about to you tell is a real life horror story. It’s not a pretty thing. Parents of young children please use your discretion. It happened to me, and it can happen to you if you are not careful.

It was bright warm morning on a Sunday in July. I was doing my monthly finances. M and I usually do this together. We sit down like a happily married couple and go over our spend for the month and our budget for next month. We are great at this. We could do it in our sleep. Insert “if/then”, equal sum; Total. V-look up for last month, conditional format for red, brackets. None? Good. In the black. Then it happened. A terrifying thing. I pressed enter on my monthly dining out budget and there in the most cold-blooded red I’ve ever seen the over budget number. It stood there leering at me. The room grew dark. Fear gripped me as the number grew larger and larger. That can’t be right. That’s a triple digit number. I double checked my math. Something is wrong here. Hands trembling, heart beating, sweat dripping, I cautiously press enter again. Last thing I remember before passing out, that sardonic red number standing over me heavy, grimacing. It jabbed me again and again. Mercilessly, stabbing me in the eyes. Black out.

For real though, I ate out WAY too much in July. Like, way too much. Think of a number. Double it. No, triple it. I ate out more than that number. I could have bought a flight somewhere tropical. I could have paid a car note. I could have treated my whole family to a night out at fancy restaurant, lobster included. I could have stayed in the treehouse hotel in Wimberly. But, instead I ate my existence. I ate my whole life away.

You guys, I don’t feel good about this. Why did I not stop myself? Why did I spend $30 in Fro-Yo alone?! Why was my Chilantro bill more than $30? It’s just a burger and fries joint! Is there any reason I went to Subway? Like at all? They don’t even have good subs! I never eat out like this. I know; I checked. I have my 2014 -2015 expenses backed up. In May, I was in Chicago for 5 days eating out every single day and that was nowhere near close to July’s spend.

Granted. I didn’t have a BAD July. I mean, my tires, my knee, and most importantly my wedding ring. Maybe I was eating my feelings to cope. Am I being too hard on myself? Have you ever gone WAY over budget on dining out? Let me know in the comments.

Love, Nik

One Comment Add yours

  1. Meagz says:

    HAHAHA!! Seriously, I spend wayyy too much on lunch. Whole Foods gets me every time. $3 beverage here, $5 salad there, add some protein and it’s a wrap. At least it’s healthy-ish. So, I feel you.

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