I know. It’s not nice. You hate people like me. I know it’s not right especially since I’m only pregnant and not somebody’s mama yet, so I have NO IDEA what it is like. I know. Girl, I know.
BUT, I mean…we all do it or at least have done it. Think back to when you were not a parent. You were single. You loved life. You slept. You drank. You kept your house clean, kinda. You hated children, especially the ones running around breaking stuff, crying, being loud, unsupervised in Wal-Mart. You got all “I would never let my house look like this” when seeing a few toys outta place. You got annoyed with your mom friends that did all these lame mom things together. You scoffed at the ones who only talked about what Zack had for lunch, how much poop Lizzy pooped, what school or daycare thing that’s coming up, and who has the best organic locally sourced trendy baby items. I mean you rolled your full EYEBALLS. That can’t be just me, right?
Now that I’m getting closer to my due date, I’ve taken some time to reflect on exactly how harsh I can be when observing someone else’s parenting. Whether I think they are too involved or not involved enough, and too strict or not strict enough. I remember how I made fun of parents for stuff they did or didn’t do. I remember putting myself on a pedestal, thinking I would NEVER allow my child to do this or that. Or I would think to myself all the things, I would never do as a mom. In fact, I have a whole semi-sarcastic blog drafted naming X number of things I will never do as a mom. I’ll publish that later. It will be a great laugh. Hopefully. Could be incredibly offensive, but it will definitely be honest.
I’d like to think that I have grown, changed, metamorphosed into a more enlightened, less judgmental human. I haven’t. Maybe only a little. I still think, that even when I become a mom, I will have these sometimes ignorant and ugly opinions about other people’s parenting. Some of it, I think comes from this feeling that we all inhabit this planet together and if you mess up with your kid, we will all have to suffer the consequences. Think about it. You have people in your life who been a little too spoiled or a little to abandoned by their parents. We all need some healing from our parents. I get that. And then some of it, just plain old ignorance. I’m not a mom, so my judgements whether small like if you breastfeed or not, or large like if you forget to buckle your kid in the car seat are not always warranted and definitely not welcomed. I’m working on that. I know being snotty, thinking you are the greatest parent ever and nobody can parent better than you is the start of something quite terrible. I actually have a real fear I might not be a great parent at all, but I will try none the less.
I guess, I hope you won’t judge me too harshly.
Let’s agree to think before we speak…non-verbal included. Let’s show empathy. If you see another parent struggling AND they ask for your help, let’s be gentle, kind, patient, and lovingly help them where we can. Let’s also realize our own flaws, parent or not.
Have you ever judged someone’s parenting? Let me know in the comments.